"Mao is a killer"

Though punctuated by long spells of me regurgitating the wonders of Harvard financial aid and the liberal arts education, this job never fails to amaze me. Granted, we were in a private room with friends and an obvious foreigner, but C's candidness will resonate with me for a while. Here is a country where I could be arrested for posting up that mysterious little note, where the starving homeless man* who gave me said note could be taken away for merely talking to me, where the government buries its citizen's bodies along with its embarrassment. You could feel the room cool down from the chill running down everyone's spine, including mine, at that moment. And to think, that wouldn't even be the most breathtaking incident this week.

*One of the most amazing people I'll ever meet. He just wanted to talk to an American, someone he expected to listen to him criticize the Chinese government for its human rights abuses and civilian oppression. Call him old, dirty, poor, or whatever- one thing he sure isn't is senile. A man with nothing to lose, he displayed a bravery and awareness nothing short of inspiring. That bluish moment in Fuzimiao is etched into my memory in the form of that single photograph: that moment of helpless pleading for understanding, something I unfortunately could not offer. He was a rare social warrior in a nation where most everyone else is too scared, ignorant, or defeated to do anything about the rampant injustice around them. Here's to hoping he's safe and still fighting the good fight, out there somewhere.

"We could all be arrested for this conversation." It wouldn't take much, would it, I remember thinking. If just one person here now were a card-carrying member...But as uneasy as I felt then, I can't begin to imagine how people like F and C must feel, to be so disgusted with the CCP that you'd (all things relative) openly criticize not only the government, but also it's patron saint and even the philosophical underpinnings of Chinese society. I knew I'd come here and naturally steer conversations using platitudinous social science jargon- I expected to lead simple discussions about diversity, income distribution, and the works. Never would I imagine that I'd come to Shanghai and spend an afternoon listening to a software developer talk about the need for an Asian Renaissance. Unforgettable.